All by Myself

About six months ago I decided to enter the world of online dating. I wasn't having much luck in my good old hometown, considering most people who live here are married. Upon hearing several success stories I signed up for an account.

I always thought online dating would be my last, desperate attempt to get a guy. I also thought that I would instantly meet my soul mate. I don't know what I was thinking, maybe I just flat out wasn't.

The first guy that I communicated with was very handsome and successful. I was flattered and enjoying the conversation. I began picturing in my head what it would be like to date him. (Yes, before I even went on a date. I know.) Then one day, he just stopped communicating. This scenario was repeated about a million times during my online dating career. Fortunately I learned to quit picturing anything.

There were also a lot of... um interesting people. Like the forty year old who was divorced and had custody of his children and then had random miscellaneous kids living with him. Or the occasional I'm stuck in the eighties person.

In total I received around 350 matches in the six months I was on there. Want to guess how many dates I ended up going on? Go ahead guess.

One. I went on one date. I considered it successful because he wasn't a murderer and I didn't embarrass myself. Unfortunately, we just weren't a good match.

I had already decided to not renew before this. It's expensive and wasn't worth it. Plus I've decided, if it's meant to be it will happen.

And besides, the older I'm getting the more I realize that being by yourself isn't as scary as it seems. It can actually be exciting and self-confidence boosting when you do something by yourself. For now I can say this part of my life definitely doesn't suck.

I've experienced things that people who marry young typically don't. I've stayed in a foreign country by myself, taken photography classes, learned how to do my taxes, I'm about to buy a car on my own. I can't describe the feeling of independence I get when I get to do these things on my own and one day I'll have to give up some of this. So for now, I'm a single lady. And I'm going to enjoy it.

Not What I Expected

I remember when I was in the second grade my family decided to move. We had picked out a new house in a new city, it was only fifteen minutes away but when you're eight that's a world away. I was so excited, until reality set in. I can remember distinctly sitting on my mom's bed in the old house bawling because I didn't want to leave. She reminded me that I had voted to move, but that was little consolation at that point. I didn't want to leave the familiar.

Of course my parents had already sold the house (in one day!) and bought another. We moved into the new house and started going to school at a new school. At first I hated it. I couldn't make friends at my new school and it was way harder academically than my old one. All of my neighbors were old. At my previous house I had friends on either side of me. (On a completely unrelated note, they were really my fiances. Yes, both of them.)

With time I adjusted to the change. I made some awesome friends and the new house became my home. I even learned (somewhat) to keep up academically at my new school.

You see, I'm just not someone who likes change. Usually I like the idea of it, but the actual occurrence? No way. I like stability. Unfortunately I think sometimes that places me in a rut because even if something stinks it's familiar and stable.

But I don't want my life to pass me by just so I can have familiarity. I want my life to have excitement and passion. With the new year came resolutions to find both of those things. Resolutions are great. I must think so given that I have twelve of them. I also wanted to think of three words that describe what I'm looking for in 2012. I finally found them: progress, love, and faith.

Do you have any resolutions? Are you afraid of change like me?

It's No Big Deal

It's no big deal, but...

The other day on my lunch break I went to Target to pick up some items I needed. I had no clue I would get such an awesome deal.
That's right, I bought some Greek Gods (plural!) at Target for $4.29. Forget E-Harmony! I've always wanted to prance around Greece wearing a long, white dress and gold sandals. Call me Athena from here on out.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Oprah has a list of her favorite things, but since she doesn't have a talk show anymore I'm taking over. My favorite things are cheaper anyways. Here's my list in pictures.

Sitting by a campfire,

A dog laying at my feet,
Laughing with friends,

And watching a baby sleep.

Beat that Oprah.

My Christmas Newsletter

I LOVE getting Christmas newsletters, but probably not for the same reason other people enjoy receiving them. What I enjoy the most is laughing at them. I know, that probably makes me a bad person and Santa isn't going to bring me any gifts this year but I've decided to write my own newsletter to you anyway. This letter may or may not include what normal people leave out.

Dear Friends and Family,

The year of our Lord two thousand and eleven, has been the best year yet. Yes, I'm aware that I said last year was the best, but each year seems to just top the last one! Let me tell you of everything that has happened in this past year!

First and foremost, I'm going to be an aunt. That has definitely been the best news of this year. I know I'm going to be the best aunt in the world because now my main goal in life is to spoil my sister's child.

Secondly, I almost moved out of my parent's house. That would have been a tragedy. Fortunately, they offered to let me stay for a little longer at the last minute. I'm sure my parents are just tickled to have me living with them for a few years more! Maybe I'll never move out.

Thirdly, much to my Grandmother G.'s dismay I am still single. Yes Grandma, I am aware that you dated a lot when you were younger. No, Grandma I'm not sure why I'm still single. Yes, Grandma I know I'm not getting any younger. STOP ASKING ME ABOUT DATING GRANDMA!

Um... Sorry to loose my cool for a moment there folks. I know I'll meet the perfect person at the perfect moment. Back to the newsletter.

Fourthly, I began working in another city. My job is very important. Although, I'm pretty sure the gas money and car repair bills are going to bankrupt me. You see, I need a new car but I'm too cheap to buy one. But nonetheless, my job is way awesome.

Lastly, I got a new dog. He's perfect. My dog knows how to sit, stay and lay down. He's also the cutest dog in the whole wide world. He most certainly has never pooped on the carpet and run away.

I know two-thousand and twelve is going to be an amazing year. Well, I'd like to say:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

(Please do not be offended if you write a Christmas newsletter. I'm sure yours is great, I just happen to get some really weird ones.)

Starting Over

Yesterday I had an emotional breakdown. In the Lowe's parking lot. I became frustrated with how little I've accomplished in the two years I've been graduated from college. I saw all of my fears and failures set out in front of me. I bawled my eyes out.

When I was finished sobbing I reached down in the cup holder and saw a quarter with Helen Keller on it. I suddenly realized that sobbing over my bad decisions wasn't worth it. If a blind and deaf woman can make something out of her life, so can I.

I have everything I need: a loving family, a place to live, and a job. Plus I have a few bonuses like being able to hear and see. I need to be way more grateful.

So, let's start this over. Yesterday, in the Lowe's parking lot, I decided to make some changes to the way I'm living my life. I'm going to find what I don't like in my life and work to change it. I'm throwing away regret and moving forward.

Plans B-Z

The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.
-Walt Disney

Please excuse the absenteeism in between posts. Things at work have been really busy and as a result, I've been really tired. Expect more posts this week.

I've changed my mind. Again. This Saturday I was supposed to move, I didn't. At the very last moment my parents offered me the choice of living with them while I get my master's degree. I decided to take it.

For me getting a master's degree seems like a good decision. I'm hoping to get my master's in HR. I want to be involved in training, which is something I really love.

I'm also making some life changes like I mentioned in my previous post. For one, I'm going to try a spinning class tomorrow morning. I hope it isn't as hard as I've heard it to be. I'll never know until I try. I'm also going to try yoga again. We'll see, I'm really bad about sitting still.

I'm hoping to find a new place to volunteer. I've become pretty selfish lately and I want to gain some perspective on just how blessed I am. Even if sometimes I feel like I have bad karma.

I've started taking some supplements that Dr. Oz suggest for depression relief. I'm not severely depressed at all, I just the blues a little too frequently. I also tend to get really anxious about things. I try to hide it but if you know me well, you've seen it in action.

(Is it weird that I am in love with Dr. Oz? I think he just has a charismatic personality.)

Change needs to happen in my life. I want to make new friends and try new things. If I have time, I even want to take a French class. I'll let you know how it goes.