I LOVE getting Christmas newsletters, but probably not for the same reason other people enjoy receiving them. What I enjoy the most is laughing at them. I know, that probably makes me a bad person and Santa isn't going to bring me any gifts this year but I've decided to write my own newsletter to you anyway. This letter may or may not include what normal people leave out.
Dear Friends and Family,
The year of our Lord two thousand and eleven, has been the best year yet. Yes, I'm aware that I said last year was the best, but each year seems to just top the last one! Let me tell you of everything that has happened in this past year!
First and foremost, I'm going to be an aunt. That has definitely been the best news of this year. I know I'm going to be the best aunt in the world because now my main goal in life is to spoil my sister's child.
Secondly, I almost moved out of my parent's house. That would have been a tragedy. Fortunately, they offered to let me stay for a little longer at the last minute. I'm sure my parents are just tickled to have me living with them for a few years more! Maybe I'll never move out.
Thirdly, much to my Grandmother G.'s dismay I am still single. Yes Grandma, I am aware that you dated a lot when you were younger. No, Grandma I'm not sure why I'm still single. Yes, Grandma I know I'm not getting any younger. STOP ASKING ME ABOUT DATING GRANDMA!
Um... Sorry to loose my cool for a moment there folks. I know I'll meet the perfect person at the perfect moment. Back to the newsletter.
Fourthly, I began working in another city. My job is very important. Although, I'm pretty sure the gas money and car repair bills are going to bankrupt me. You see, I need a new car but I'm too cheap to buy one. But nonetheless, my job is way awesome.
Lastly, I got a new dog. He's perfect. My dog knows how to sit, stay and lay down. He's also the cutest dog in the whole wide world. He most certainly has never pooped on the carpet and run away.
I know two-thousand and twelve is going to be an amazing year. Well, I'd like to say:
(Please do not be offended if you write a Christmas newsletter. I'm sure yours is great, I just happen to get some really weird ones.)